I have had this blog post sitting here for a while- this is the "other" stuff that has been going on in my life over the past year, much of what I couldn't share until now. Its a long story but I wanted to go into detail because God is into details and He deserves the praise and honor for putting this all together- I love to see what He is doing and can't wait to see what comes out of it!
Sometimes in life its hard to see the end. What God is doing, why He is or isn't answering prayers a certain way. Sometimes we never see the reason why it happened the way it happened and we just have to trust in the fact that He knows best. But sometimes, He shows us. Sometimes we get the pure delight, on this side of eternity, to look back and see His thread of Sovereignty weaving our story together.
For that year of infertility that we had I never understood why we suffered so much until I saw my son's face. The infertility moved us to adoption. Then the adoption to a surprise pregnancy. I thought that was it- my two little miracles and that life would continue on. But because of that infertility, which led to adoption, which led to the "adoption & orphan world." My eyes were opened but it didn't stop there, my heart was
burdened.
I went to some conferences, you can read about the first one
here and another
here. Then again to an adoptive Mom's retreat called Created for Care which you can read about
here. My heart for adoption began to grow and grow and grow as I talked with more moms, more families, saw more pictures, heard more stories about the MILLIONS of children that needed families, support, love, and the Lord. There were families that were already stepping up despite many obstacles. But there was still a great, great need for more and for others to help share in their burdens My heart ached, I felt so small and insignificant, what more can I do? We wanted to adopt again, but what else?
I read books. The first one-
Red Letters. It did me in. I began praying, praying that God would lay on my heart- His heart. That He would give me a burden for what He cares for and that I would ACT. Not just merely
know and
hear what He calls me to do- but to DO IT. I read some more...
Fields of the Fatherless: Verses from the books and the Word poured on my heart like salt on an open wound-
"But whoever has this world's goods and see his brother in need and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him?"- I John 3:16-17
and
Pure and faultless religion is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress."- James 1:27
and
The book goes on to talk about how in the Old Testament the "ancient boundary" and how this boundary was set up by God to care for the fatherless and the widow. (think Ruth) The Israelites were to not go over their fields again but leave it for the widow, stranger, and fatherless.
"
God's heart was and still is for the least of these"
Deuteronomy 14:28-29, Deuteronomy 24:19-21.
and
A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows is God in His holy habitation. God sets the solitary in families; He brings out those who are bound into prosperity - Psalm 68:5-6
I could go on but I think you get the point. :)
After a few months I had these times where it was so heavy and I didn't know what to do with it. He began whispering and I would literally lay there at night and think about what else we could do to help orphans, families, adoption.... Everything that came to my mind seemed so "big" like only things I could do one day when... "my kids are grown up" or "we are retired" or "we have more savings" or "the timing is better."
I would put the thoughts aside and try to forget, thinking that they were just MY dreams, MY prayers. Looking back on this now- I can see it. I can see some of the bigger picture. None of this was from me to begin with. You know the verse
"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."
I love this verse, because really, it means that if we are walking with the Holy Spirit and we are walking so in tune with Him, His desires become ours. If they are His desires, Hes going to grant them to us because He put it there to begin with. What a good God.
So while I prayed about what this burden meant for me, I waited on the Lord. I honestly thought that I would be waiting a while but this time the answer can quickly.
And it was all because of Facebook. :) If you are a friend of mine on FB you know that I regularly post things about adoption, orphan care, etc. Well, that day I had just finished reading a review of a book about helping families adopt- this passion had already deeply been on my heart. You see, I realize that not everyone is called to adopt, but those who are- they still need help, support, encouragement, and a lot of times the very basic necessity of funds for their adoption. The costs of adoption can be anywhere from $10,000-40,000. Most people don't have this sort of money laying around, no less have that much extra cash month to month to even save for that! It drove me mad to know that there were families willing, able, WANTING to adopt. There were children, babies, teens WAITING to be adopted but the middle factor- money- was in the way, it was the obstacle that was between them. While I still hope that more and more agencies will do a much better job fundraising to keep costs low to families (and there are some AMAZING ones that are already doing this!) the simple fact that adoption does cost money will always be there, so we have to think outside of the box. All of this had been swirling around in my head for months and so about a year ago I posted something on my Facebook page to this extent..." A bucket list dream of mine would be to one day have an adoption grant agency to help other families adopt."
There, it was out there in cyber-space. But more than it being "out there" it was put "in" someone else' heart. About a week later I received a phone call from a long time family friend about wanting to talk with me about something. This person is someone whom I highly respect. They left their very comfortable job in church ministry to start their own ministry- serving and providing for orphans around the world. Their organization has grown so much and has become a model out there for what it looks like to care for the widows and orphans, to meet their basic needs, to share the gospel with them, and to help the children that they serve grow into leaders who can positively impact their country. This organization is called Heart of the Bride. Its been a blessing to watch what they do. So we met and began talking- he shared with me that he saw what I wrote on FB and that this had been on his heart. I was shocked- I truly didn't think anything like this would happen any time soon, but looking back, now I know why God so burned it on my heart, because He was working and setting things up For Such a Time as This. After months and months researching, phone calls, meetings, typing, more phone calls, researching it- An Adoption Aid program which provides grants to adoptive families who apply and qualify- was approved by the board of Heart of the Bride and I couldn't be more excited. Many have come along side and helped in the process and continue to help and I'm so grateful for all of them.
I can't wait to see the families that come together, I can't wait to see the children who come home. I can't wait to see what God does in this community and others around as people answer the call to adopt, and others answer the need to help fund those adoptions.
I look back on that year and see how when I prayed for God to burden my heart with what burdened His- He did. I look back and see that He is constantly working, moving people to act, and His is great Sovereignty and love He showers down on us and once again fills me with hope. He deserves all the praise.
Thanks for reading!
